Balancing Act: How Gender Roles and Life Expectations Contribute to Burnout in Women
LADIES…If you've ever felt the weight of the world on your shoulders, you're not alone. As a 40-year-old female holistic health and wellness coach, and a woman recovering from burnout, I've seen firsthand how burnout can creep into the lives of women from all walks of life. Today’s blog will explore the journey of burnout with a unique lens of discussing why it affects women more often than our male counterparts, how it manifests, and most importantly, how to seek help when you find yourself teetering on the edge.
Was I Alone?
As I recognized that I was in fact experiencing burnout, I began to wonder, was I alone in this? I hadn’t heard my close friends talking about burnout, and while emphasis had been put on mental health in the months after the health crisis, I wasn’t aware of anyone who’d experienced it. As I began my research, I learned that I was in fact NOT alone in my experience, and burnout doesn't discriminate. Burnout is a pervasive issue that affects women across the globe, regardless of age, profession, or socioeconomic status.
Why Burnout Affects Women
The gender gap when it comes to burnout is a glaring issue. Women are more likely to experience burnout than men, and this disparity can be attributed to several factors. In a 2021 report from McKinsey, research showed 42% of women interviewed were experiencing varying stages of burnout. That number is increasing year over year, and also higher than men, 30% of who report experiencing burnout. This article/podcast from McKinsey is interesting in many ways; please take time to listen or read it if you can.
Women in America juggle multiple roles, including career, family, and personal growth. The culmination of these responsibilities can create the perfect storm for burnout. As a result of taking on so much for others, we often prioritize ourselves last – which really means we aren’t making ourselves a priority at all.
Women between the ages of 35 and 55 are often working full time, taking care of kids, and/or, providing care and support for their own older parents. Perhaps by default, women have also become the decision maker of the household – responsible for making healthcare decisions, deciding what gets bought at the grocery store, and what the meals for the week will look like. On top of that we try to maintain our own health, fitness, social relationships, hydration, sleep, well, you get it. Now let’s dig in to some specifics:
Double Burden: Many women juggle multiple roles as caregivers, professionals, and head of the household. The pressure to excel in both their careers and personal lives can lead to exhaustion. Women balance a lot. During the health crisis women were more likely than men to leave the workforce, primarily to support young children who were now in remote learning situations or who’s daycare had closed. In fact, From 2020 – 2021, nearly 3 million women left the workforce.
The Mid-Career Crossroads: Many women in their early 40s find themselves at a career crossroads. They may question their career choices and yearn for more meaningful work. Ladies, at this point many of us have been working full time for almost 20 years! It’s normal to examine how your career is complementing your lifestyle and goals (or not!) and armed with the knowledge, power and experience of our time in the workforce, there are newer and different options available to us. Staying with a company or manager who does not value you contributions, or who’s workplace has become toxic, is not beneficial or necessary.
Societal Expectations: Society often places unrealistic expectations on women to be perfect mothers, partners, and employees. This constant striving for perfection can lead to chronic stress and eventual burnout. Women often try to balance all of that, plus trying to maintain their own health & wellness, social relationships and get adequate sleep!
Lack of Support: In some cases, women may lack the support they need from partners, family, or employers to balance their responsibilities effectively.
I’ll add here that women also need to be better about asking for support when we need it. We often have partners who are able and want to support us, they just aren’t sure how. Once I vocalized to my husband that I was struggling, he stepped up in so many ways. We cannot expect our support system to read our minds, nor should we wait until we are close to the breaking point to ask for support. We all want to be our own version of Super Woman, and I’ve found that when women realize we’ve reached our limit some may feel ashamed, guilty or weak about admitting to burnout, fearing judgment or criticism from others.
Physical and Emotional Changes: Women over 35 may also be grappling with hormonal changes and the physical toll of aging, which can exacerbate burnout symptoms. Hello perimenopause! My other new favorite topic to explore. The average woman doesn’t think about perimenopause until we start to experience it. Then it’s a scramble to understand how our hormones are fluctuating, how our bodies are changing, and how we can nurture ourselves as we adapt to this new experience.
How Does Burnout Affect Women?
Burnout is not just a temporary feeling of exhaustion; it has far-reaching consequences that can affect various aspects of a woman's life. If you’re struggling and not sure why, here are some ways burnout manifests:
Physical Health: Burnout can lead to physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, digestive issues, and weakened immune function. Chronic stress can also increase the risk of cardiovascular problems and other serious health issues.
Mental Health: Women experiencing burnout are at a higher risk of developing mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression. Persistent stress can also lead to cognitive impairments.
Relationships: Burnout can strain relationships with partners, children, family, and friends. The emotional toll of burnout can make it difficult to connect with loved ones and maintain healthy relationships.
Career: Burnout can harm career prospects as it leads to decreased productivity, decreased job satisfaction, and a higher likelihood of making mistakes at work. In severe cases, it may even result in job loss.
Self-Identity: Burnout can erode a woman's sense of self-worth and identity. The constant struggle to meet societal expectations can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
Signs You, as a Woman, Are Burning Out
As I shared in my previous blog, I didn’t recognize for some time that what I was experiencing was burnout. In fact, it wasn’t until I made some major changes that I realized I had been close to the edge.
Recognizing the signs of burnout is the first step towards recovery. As a holistic health and wellness coach, I've seen many women struggle with burnout, often unaware of the warning signals. Here are some common signs to look out for:
Constant Fatigue: Feeling tired all the time, even after a full night's sleep, can be a sign of burnout. This fatigue is often accompanied by a lack of energy and motivation.
Irritability: If you find yourself becoming increasingly irritable, short-tempered, or impatient, it may be a sign that stress is taking a toll on your emotional well-being.
Decreased Productivity: Burnout can lead to a significant decrease in productivity at work and home. You might struggle to concentrate, make decisions, or complete tasks efficiently.
Physical Symptoms: Chronic stress can manifest as physical symptoms, including headaches, muscle tension, gastrointestinal problems, and sleep disturbances.
Emotional Distress: Feelings of hopelessness, sadness, or anxiety can be indicative of burnout. You may also experience a sense of detachment from your own life.
Neglected Self-Care: If you've stopped prioritizing self-care activities like exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation, it's a clear sign that burnout may be affecting you.
How to Ask for Help
As a holistic health and wellness coach, I firmly believe in the power of seeking support and guidance when navigating burnout. Here's how to take the crucial step of asking for help:
Recognize Your Need: The first step is acknowledging that you need help. Understand that seeking assistance is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your strength in recognizing your limits.
Talk to Someone: Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or colleague and share your feelings. Sometimes, talking about your experiences can provide immediate relief and support.
Seek Professional Help: Consider consulting a therapist, counselor, or a coach specializing in burnout and mental health. These professionals can offer tailored strategies to help you manage and overcome burnout.
Prioritize Self-Care: Reestablish self-care routines that nurture your physical and emotional well-being. This may include regular exercise, relaxation techniques, and a balanced diet.
Set Boundaries: Learn to say "no" when necessary and set clear boundaries to protect your time and energy. It's essential to prioritize your needs without feeling guilty.
Delegate and Share Responsibilities: Don't be afraid to delegate tasks at work and home. Sharing responsibilities can alleviate some of the pressure and reduce the risk of burnout.
Work-Life Balance: Strive for a healthy work-life balance by setting limits on working hours and making time for leisure and hobbies.
Closing thoughts
Burnout is a real and pervasive issue that affects women from all walks of life. I've witnessed the toll it can take on physical and mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. The gender gap in burnout statistics is a stark reminder of the unique challenges women face in today's society.
Recognizing the signs of burnout and taking proactive steps to seek help and support is crucial. Remember, you are not alone in your struggles, and there are professionals, friends, and family members who are ready to assist you on your journey toward recovery.
As women, let's prioritize our well-being, set healthy boundaries, and break the stigma surrounding burnout. By doing so, we can reclaim our lives, nurture our holistic health, and empower ourselves to lead fulfilling and balanced lives.
Be well my friends!
Meg